| 21 Questions |
[Dec. 30th, 2006|12:21 am] |
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?:
Whenever I have to tell someone how I feel, I am either completely confident or acting completely upon impulse. Therefore, I believe that I would be better prepared to handle whatever consequences came from the confession. However, if someone were to disclose to me the true nature of their feelings, I would be scared out of my mind. Call it paranoia, but I'm deathly afraid of failure. Rejection is a kind of failure.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry?
Anger is such a tiring emotion, but I constantly succumb to my temper. Thus, my body is more fatigued from my fury rather than from my lack of sleep. I become angry at such petty things, and it's usually what drives people away.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call?
I would call the president to tell him that another act of terrorism has occurred! Haha, no really? Ehrm, I would call my niece, Arabella Elyse, (even if she can't understand me yet) to tell her that love is the most precious thing in the world. I would say that my death is not in vain because I was able to feel love in my life including the one I felt for her.
4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Well, the very first thing I would do is drive down to the house of the person I love (safely, so that I don't have to die even earlier). Then before he could speak, I would kiss him with every feeling and fiber in my body so as to leave us both breathless, whisper in his ear that I love him, and drive away. In the first few days, I would write letters to everyone that has ever mattered to me and write my will. I would spoil my little nieces and nephews with presents and never be cross or angry. Then I would ask if for the last few days, I could stay in the arms of the one I love the most. Because in his arms, I fear nothing, even death.
And, no, I would not tell anyone...because I don't want pity. I want happiness. I want to remember their smiles and laughter, not their tears. My letters would be comfort enough. I have always been better able to articulate myself through written rather than spoken words.
5. You can have one of the following two things: Love or Trust. Which do you choose? Why?
Love. Because with love comes trust. I would not love someone if I did not trust them.
6. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?
The situation would be made crystal clear, and I would not withhold a single detail. In fact, I would not be physically unfaithful until my significant other understood my feelings.
7. Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
Haha, oh goodness, if only this could be the same friend that I've fallen for as well.
8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
I do not have the power to control destiny. In the span of one hour, innumerable changes can be made, let alone one year. What has happened cannot be changed, and what will happen cannot be avoided.
9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Let's see...loud, garrulous, scary, and gorgeous! Absolutely!
10. Does love = sex?
Ehrm, you don't need to love in order to have sex, and you don't really need to have sex if you love...So, I conclude that the two angles of thought are not congruent but perhaps supplementary. -=]
11. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
I kind of just blurted out, "I loved you!" But failed to mention that I continue to love him...
12. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a boy/girl friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
In order to find happiness, we must be selfish. If I did not love him, then I would be withholding both of our happiness. He would deserve better, and I would never be happy with him. Hence, it would be much more difficult to admit that I love him; especially since I've supposedly denounced love.
14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
I would hate to give up my free will! It would be rather difficult because it's inborn!
15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
I called John, who just happens to be the idiot I've loved ever since I made him bleed in 6th grade. He's my "best" friend...brother...etc etc
16. Imagine. it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
Hm, who do I imagine was there outside my window? A secret admirer, who wants to make love sweet love to me! Lol. Yes, of course, he would have to be Draco Malfoy and flying on a firebolt. <3
17. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
Yes, because life is precious.
18. Are you old fashioned?
Being a teenager, there's not many things I can be old-fashioned about, but I dearly love the "ways" of back in the day!
19. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
Ehr, you see..the Dalai Lama told me that in order to find happiness, I must be selfish. So, I really have always expected something in return, whether it be the feeling of accomplishment or happiness from having been nice.
20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I already chose.
21. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
I wish I could have enough power and influence enough to change the world. I want to be able to make the decision that is responsible for the lives of millions of people in the world. Yes, it's true. I want to be the next President of the United States. Hahaha. |
|
|
| Christmas Climax |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|04:34 pm] |
It's obviously not an "original" sentiment to be writing this on Christmas day, but it's the intention that matters.
I find that on this day, I feel emotions that seem to have accumulated throughout the year, searching for a resolution.
I have often noted that my life parallels that of a Nora Robert's romance novel. There's always a dilemma that seemingly can't be resolved and yet by a miraculous twist of fate, a very convenient solution appears.
My story is about misunderstandings, misconceptions, ignorance, and just the general unwillingness to believe.
A small climax took place on the night of the 23rd with an unexpected but not unpleasant encounter. I saw someone, and no matter how many times I try to convince myself that I no longer feel any regard for him apart from that of the platonic, there I go making a fool of myself! Honestly, I must seem so easy, just throwing myself at him! But what is a girl to do when just one smile elicits the sweetest ecstacy? In thinking that he was still in a relationship, I believed I was safe from him. After all, I am not treacherous (as other's are) enough to be the reason of a relationship's ruin.
But nope.
It seems that Zeus Almighty and Father Christmas had joined forces together to plot against me because apparently, they had broken up less than a week ago.
The night was a blur, and I'm sure the free alcohol didn't help either. Obviously, the drinking was in moderation, but alcohol numbs the "common sense" and exacerbates others, if you know what I mean.
All I can say though is that the alcohol might as well have been water because his kisses were like drugs that throbbed through my veins and shocked my heart.
The day after was Christmas Eve, where I spent the night with family, the people I'm supposed to love the most. But as I watched the whole slew of them hustle and bustle about in happiness and joy, I felt out of place. The whole situation with Aeia has estranged me from my "family" because they are mostly her family too. It was a relief that her family left to Ohio only minutes after I arrived. My sister tried to reconcile us while we were in the same proximity of each other, but being unable to bear looking at her for too long, I rolled my eyes and walked away. Some of you may comment that this was a weak move on my part, but the truth is, I have already forgiven her. In fact, I forgive too easily. But I've never been able to forget. How can I look at her when instead of seeing all of the memories we shared in our childhood, I see.....I'm just disgusted. It may be my great fault, but like Mr. Darcy, "my good opinion once lost, is lost forever."
So, there I was...estranged from my family, and I didn't even get to see my friends. Mind you, these friends aren't the "school" friends that you'll eventually forget once you no longer share the atmosphere of school together. These friends are the ones that I'll live on the same block with and have our kids grow up together the same way that we did. I wasn't able to attend the annual Asian Crew Christmas Party...
Instead. That night.
I saw him. That one boy, my childhood friend and love.
That's hard to admit. [Love. ]
But you know, the first [one] never dies.
So, now Christmas day, I am trumbling down the peak of the climax into a resolution that I believe will come New Year's Day.
My thoughts were all over the place, but they had to be said.
Merry Christmas. <3 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|05:17 pm] |
Slither
Disclaimer: Ahh, I’m another insane fan of Harry Potter, who is only wishing to show my absolute loyalty to such a brilliant work of fiction by writing an unworthy piece of fan fiction of my own! I do believe that the plot is mine, but everything else goes to JKR!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1: The Icy Prince & The Fiery Princess
His footsteps echoed conspicuously through the corridors and announced his presence prior to being seen. Over the course of six years, his power over the student body was evident. Those of whom he felt were unworthy would scurry at the sound of his expensive Italian boots. There were few who did not cower before his gaze. And yet he could never rule sovereign over those bloody Gryffindors.
Arriving fashionably late, Draco Malfoy smirked as he walked in between the tables of the Great Hall that separated Hufflepuff from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor from Slytherin. He walked with a confidence that came with power, and girls in every house could feel a heat burning in their cheeks as he probed an approving eye over them. Draco was not unaware of the effects of his charm, but as he neared the Gryffindor table, he saw that there was always one girl who was left unaffected.
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley stared daggers at Malfoy. They knew that another year, and hopefully the last, had come where they would have to bear his arrogance. In between them sat, Hermione Granger. Turning away from Malfoy, the boys whispered something in her ears that made her erupt in laughter. From each end of the table, Gryffindors smiled at hearing Hermione’s melodious laugh. Over the years, they had come to regard her as their own fiery princess. But for Malfoy, the sound was a cacophony of the worst kind. His alluring smirk turned into sneer as he veered towards the Slytherin table.
The Slytherins were not oblivious to the fact it would yield dire consequences to trifle with Draco in this mood. Food was abundant and sweet drinks overflowed in goblets, but they were left untouched until Draco had nodded and taken the very first bite. In his 7th year, Draco had become the icy Slytherin Prince, who ruled his dominion with a cold hand. For six years, he had worked to gain the respect of his housemates. It was with an unspoken word that they became followers to the natural leader.
Hermione eyed the Slytherin table with interest. She was curious about the Slytherins’ unerring loyalty in following their leader even with dinner manners. Secretly, Hermione was impressed by the power that Draco commanded. A chill passed through her, and her eyes darkened. If there was one thing that Hermione would never admit even under Veritaserum, it was her attraction to power.
Draco epitomized power.
She was interrupted from her musings by the sounds of Ron’s confounded clattering as he strove to stuff absolutely everything into his mouth. At her other side, Harry’s green eyes twinkled, a bit in the way that Dumbledore’s did, as he also watched Ron eat. Hermione turned to him with mirth dancing in her eyes. Harry slipped his arm around her as he had done so many times before and hugged her close.
The summer following 6th year had been trying and difficult for all of them. Even though they had all witnessed unspeakable things, Harry was glad to see that at least in some ways, they did not change. Ron still had an eager appetite. Hermione’s appearance radiated blissful innocence and glowed with knowledge.
Hermione was comforted by Harry’s show of affection. She had worried over his health and sanity for months. She returned the hug and pulled Ron into their embrace. Their friendship had never been stronger.
A table away, Draco watched the Golden Trio exude a light that blinded him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Yep, another fanfic that I’ve started. It has a short beginning, but it will grow in time! I hope I actually continue this, but maybe that’s wishful thinking! The next update won’t be until my thanksgiving break because physics is exceedingly annoying me. Please review to tell me if I should continue this crazy idea. I don’t even know where I’m going!
Also! I need a BETA if I’m to continue this. So, if you’re interested..please review and leave me your email! |
|
|
| Global Summit: Diplomacy & International Affairs |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|11:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
OH MY GOODNESS!
MY APPLICATION WAS ACCEPTED!
I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON DC AND NEW YORK!!!
Now that I've gotten almost all the excitement out of my system, I believe that I should provide an elaboration!
Well, a month or two ago, my economics teacher talked about this program called LeadAmerica. They're supposed to be Leadership Conferences for outstanding high school students. It seemed that she would get information about this every year, and her job was to nominate her students to this Congressional Student Leadership Conference. She showed us brochures and the like. Obviously, I was completely thrilled about this! I mean, REALLY! This was definitely something that I had always been interested in.
TO MY SURPRISE, I WAS NOMINATED BY MY TEACHER!!!!
A few weeks later, I received a thick envelope filled with things like a certificate of nomination, a brochure that included the various programs that they offered, and the application itself. The first person I wanted to share this information with was my love, Brian, but for a reason that I can't remember, he put me in a bad mood at that certain moment. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did anyway....
Well, I showed it to my parents, and they completely supported me. They encouraged me and continued to do so throughout my application process. Now, we don't have the funds to do this, but they believe that this is a chance of a lifetime. They didn't want me to miss my chance.
Of course, my application was a little delayed considering I couldn't get my lazy butt to write the short essay for the scholarship application. BUT! I eventually finished and sent it in the mail one cold morning. I was anxious and scared, but the anticipation is all part of the experience....
A few days later...
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2005
I checked my email in the morning after writing my lab report..to find an "admissions" email waiting for me in my inbox.
HOLY SHIT!
MY APPLICATION WAS APPROVED.
I WAS MOST DEFINITELY ATTENDING THE CONFERENCE IN THE SUMMER OF 2006!
At this point, if I had lived in the moment..I would have fainted, but the bus was coming in 5 minutes. I screamed in my charming but idiotic manner..and my mother and sister were startled. My mother was very excited for me..but it seemed that my sister didn't even care. I didn't notice it or mind because HELL, I JUST GOT ACCEPTED. I had to quicken my pace out the door with the email printed in my hand. I screamed in utter delight and danced/ran my way to the bus stop with a few twirls in the street. God, was I happy....
At school, I told my economics teacher and she said that, "I would be a great representative of the school." My English teacher was very proud of me. !!!!!!Ahhhh, the feelings are great.
After a shortened day, I went home happily. I tried to call all my family members and telling them, but I couldn't reach some of them. Oh, well. They shall know soon enough! I was very excited to have told almost all of my friends. All of them..are so supportive.
I love you guys!
Colin - You idiot! Kept me up 2 hours talking. Haha, I must have ruined your eardrums with all my screaming. Thank you for being happy for me and being helpful.
Kim - Thanks.
John - Jealous?! Why in the world would you be? I'm gonna' stuff you in my suitcase!
Well, I went to the website for registered students and I checked my current balance. NOT ONLY HAD I GOTTEN ACCEPTED, BUT I HAD GOTTEN ALL $300 OF THE SCHOLARSHIP! Oh, god. I wasn't a complete failure after all! Oh, geez. Oh, geez. I was freaking out. Realization hit me!
I'M NOT AN IDIOT!
Teehee. I was deliriously happy. I read up on as much as I could. Ooh, ooh! I never told you guys which conference I'm doing!
Global Summit: Diplomacy & International Affairs
(I'll include the information they put on the website.)
http://www.lead-america.org/conferences/cslc/diplomacy.asp
At the CSLC on Diplomacy & International Affairs, you'll explore the very real and complex diplomatic issues facing our world today. You'll meet policy makers and international diplomats with whom you'll discuss the delicate balance of world peace, the ways in governments negotiate and reach alliances, and the realities behind international conflict resolution.
 Your conference will begin in Washington, DC where you will meet with State Department officials and learn about the ways in which US foreign policy is shaped. Leaders of global organizations, agencies and governing bodies will guide you in exploring international response to rogue regimes and non-state actors in a post-9/11 world. From there, it's on to New York City, home of the United Nations, where you'll continue your exploration with an in-depth look at the role of the UN in resolving differences between governments and the economic, diplomatic and military strategies available to solve international conflict.
SIMULATION
In our United Nations Simulation, you'll tackle a crisis or disruption of peace. You'll take on the roles of heads of governments, international organizations and special interest groups and identify and weigh the consequences of possible economic, diplomatic and other efforts. You'll work to maintain the delicate balance of world peace while advancing the policies and interests of the country or organization you represent. From Washington, DC to New York City, you'll experience the power and excitement of international politics and global cooperation.
 
- United Nations Simulation
- Briefings from global organizations, agencies and governing bodies
- Capitol Hill and Congressional Appointments
- Field Experiences and Excursions
- Friendships that last a lifetime
- Earn 2 college credits
 |
Download a Sample Schedule  |
7:30 - 8:30 |
Breakfast |
| 9:00 - 10:30 |
Speaker & Briefing: US State Department - International Affairs and America's Place in the Global Community |
| 11:00 - 12:00 |
Foreign Service Briefing |
| 12:30 - 1:30 |
Lunch on Capitol Hill |
| 2:00 - 4:00 |
Embassy Visit and Briefing |
| 5:00 - 5:45 |
Leadership Workshop: Value of Diversity |
| 5:45 - 6:45 |
Dinner |
| 7:00 - 8:00 |
Guest Speaker: History and Future of American Diplomatic Affairs |
| 8:00 - 10:00 |
United Nations Simulation |
| 10:30 |
Room Check and Curfew |
|
Our field trips and experiences include being at these places:
http://www.lead-america.org/conferences/cslc/institutions.html#7
Embassies & Diplomatic Organizations
- American Islamic Congress
- Embassy of the Republic of Austria
- Embassy of the Dominican Republic
- Embassy of the French Republic
- Embassy of the Federal Republic of Germany
- Embassy of Japan
|
- Embassy of the State of Kuwait
- Embassy of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
- International Monetary Fund
- The World Bank
- United Nations
|
And we get to meet significant people that I would probably never be able to meet without this program!!!
http://www.lead-america.org/conferences/cslc/speakers.html#diplomats
Members of the Diplomatic Community
- Nawaf Al Ahamad, Second Secretary, Embassy of Kuwait
- Zainab Al-Suwaij, Executive Director, American Islamic Congress
- Steve Atkins, Press Advisor, Embassy of Britain
- Catherine Bertini, Under Secretary General for Management, United Nations
- Gary Crocker, U.S. Department of State
- Stephanie Dejarric, Associate Spokesperson, United Nations
- George Dragnich, Deputy U.S. Coordinator, U.S. State Department
- Scott Harris, U.S. Department of State
- Kevin Kennedy, Branch Chief, United Nations
- Jean David Levitt, Ambassador, Embassy of France
- Juliana Lindsey, Coordinator, Humanitarian Response Unit, UNICEF
- Katsuo Nagai, Deputy Press Secretary, Embassy of Japan
- Mary Pensabene, Team Leader of Washington Programs, U.S. Department of State
- Carina Perelli, Department Director, United Nations
- Elisabeth Reuss, Embassy of Austria
- Anna Schwan, Public Diplomacy Specialist, Embassy of Germany
There's SO MUCH MORE!
But really, I couldn't possibly sum it all up!
So, it seems that I still have a very yuckie balance of $2,000 to pay in order to attend, but my parents are going to pitch in $1,000 while I have to fundraise $1,000. I hope you guys support me! This really is a chance of a lifetime. Oh, and I might be in our local news! HOLY CRAP! Haha.
Sincerely,
Althea (ahem ahem) Future Ambassador of France |
|
|
| Life is interesting, isn't it? |
[Nov. 26th, 2005|12:34 pm] |
Life is interesting, isn't it? It really is just one gargantuan and perpetual surprise. Mayhap because there is no end in sight, there never was a beginning. Where do we go from here?
Sometimes, I waste life. I waste the precious moments doing things that do not make me happy. I waste an immeasurable amount of seconds away from the people I love the most; my friends, my family, and the loves (yes, that is plural) of my life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My friends. They are the anchor that keeps me from sailing away into the seas of insanity. They are the natural winds that encourage my happy adventure.
Speaking of the wind, Erik has a trademark quote. "I CAN SEE THE WIND!"
No, Erik...those were the trees. Hehe.
They are the sails that generate the push I need to get started. They are the compass that keeps me from sailing astray. And they are the mast that keeps everything in place.
But before I could set sail on the adventure of my life they gave me two things for safe sailing.
1. They taught me how to swim; to stay afloat and to fight for dear life in the unsteady surface.
2. And even now, they are the the life vests that will never fail me in case I drown in my own sickness.
In my life, I have made many acquaintances. Some acquaintances I see frequently while others never again, but in some small way I've made a significant impact in their lives just as they have in mine. And in my book, a smile or a frown is significant enough.
But in my life, I have made few friends. Some friends I see frequently while others never again, but in a very large way their friendships have molded and shaped the person that I am today. I can only hope that I've done the same for them.
--> In reality, my friends and I are not complete when we are apart. In fact, we need the very essence of each other in order to be complete. We are reliant on each other, and we never fail each other.
<-- How cruel life would be if we lived our lives missing pieces of our hearts and souls...
There are uncontrollable forces in life, and there are barriers we are never meant to pass. But the fear in our being drives us to want control, to play the hand of fate for ourselves, to traverse through a world we were never meant to have...
And that causes us to be a corrupt people. Causes us to lose sight of the light (ooh, a rhyme!) and stray onto the path that fulfills our innane need of the dark.
:sighs: But before I start to sound like an English teach discussing Lord of the Flies, friends are forces in life. Forces to be reckoned with! (Sorry, always wanted to say that..)
I'm not sure if my meaning is clear, but..in all simplicity..
Friendship could be the sole reason why the world spins on an axis, why human beings strive and live on this planet, why men are capable of loving...
Perhaps, they are the foundation of life of love and of liberty! Well, now it's starting to sound like blasphemy, but somehow my very odd philosophy ties together.
Friends are the beginning of life, the reason we are alive, and the end of a beginning.
Well, at least that's the case for me...and my friends...are worth more than even my words can express! And like the dedication to come in my future novels, this one is for you guys; the friends in life.
Extreme - More than Words
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
'Cause I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
--> And the blame is on you, Kim. The green goldfish that showed me that I can "just keep swimming" even if misery is trying to hold me back. The friend that is my reason to cry when I smile.
--> And the blame is on you, John. The boy that loved me but found that it was nothing more than a brother's love. The friend that let me practically bleed him to death just so that I was happily satisfied.
--> And the blame is on you, Colin. The explosives that never fail to keep my life on the delirious side. The friend that is generous enough to give me everything and more than I've ever asked for.
--> And the blame is on you, Dan. The narcissist that kept me in check :cough:widow+er:cough:. The friend that I grudgingly admire for his :cough:skills:cough:.
--> And the blame is on you, Nongie. The artist that tries her best to draw the person that she believes is in me. The friend that continues to accept me even after I've slighted her.
--> And the blame is on you, Erik. The gender-confused male that causes me to laugh for hours on end. The friend that I turn to when I need a comforting hug (or just for when I want to make Colin jealous). Hehe.
I am most comfortable with you. I am happiest with you.
To be continued.... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|07:36 am] |
I can't stop thinking about him. It's driving me crazy. He's like a...like a virus that lies dormant within me! And occassionally wakes to torture me. Bit by bit..giving me the impression that oh, it's no more! But no..it still exists..still there..waiting waiting to pounce on every ounce of my bloody dignity until I am no more.
Why do I still dream of you? Almost every night. I've not talked to you in months. Yet I hear your voice clearly. I've seen only a glance of you months ago and yet I've a clear picture in my mind. The things you've said, years and years ago..things that even you don't remember saying..haunt me..compel me.
I lose myself in the idea of you. It is just illusion, I know. It is just infatuation. But acknowledging it has not stopped my obsession.
I've forced myself to need you. UNDO IT!
I have someone else now. He treats me better than anyone ever could. He loves me more than anyone ever has. And I love him.
But.
You. What have you done to me? What have you done??!
MY SUBCONSCIOUS YEARNS YOU. I will not.
These dreams. They won't stop. The thoughts, the heart break. Everything and nothing.
I beg you to stop. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|10:06 pm] |
FEATURE PRESENTATION
Death Match I -- Attack of the Squids
Click me! (above) |
|
|
| Thunder, he did cry. |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|10:07 pm] |
Thunder, he did cry
My temper flared
Stronger, malicious
They fed it; no mind to consequence
A scream, a plea so silent
It deafened.
Fists clenched, strained
blood streaming, nails digging
Pale, a ghost company to pain
Logic, calm. Fretting grief
Seeping into crevice after crevice
drowning, consuming
A willing carrier.
Music blast, and the thunder replied
Loud, unforgiving
Pleasing his mistress' needs.
A drizzle, a drop - it's tempt enough to sin
A bang, a shout
Red sparks, dismayed hope
An extra layer for protection
Covering insides so dead, so sadistic, so dry
Rotting, tearing
Lightning ready to comply
A walk, a step, a stair and trip
In front, the door it beckoned away.
An out, a way, a sidewalk paved with lines
A step, a crack, misfortune must follow
The thunder it screamed
Impatient to satisfy
Commanding to cleanse.
Splatter, drip the rain sang harsh
Rumbled the thunder, fierce with wrath
Howling did the wind complete
a cacophony which tremored
A black chaos borne before Zeus.
Awaiting the pour
Emotion: dread, fear, misery, desolation
Then pain.
a light to guide a soul so lost
Fake uncaring, the sun did shine
Grimace away a delineated memory
Crude, unbearing to rest a walk
An opening. Advantage of the wind
As drizzle of rain poured upon my shoulders
and cried did they tears
That did not suffice to quench the fire within.
Drip, drop, splatter and stop
a sidewalk overun with water
splash came the rain hitting pavement
A million of them every second
each a reminder
Of needle stabbing the flesh.
The heavens poured tears
even their's are salty
but none dared mingle near
those of mine that were never shed.
The wind a banshee screaming to scare
Baring my teeth; attempting not to chatter
I faced it's fury threatening my own
Battle did I win.
War had yet to come
And thunder did rally on.
Trees too young to face such unknown
Misplaced, wailing in confusion
The sun took refuge in the clouds
A mistake unbeknowest to himself
The thunder cackled in response
and the dark clouds smothered
an unforgiving sun.
Another step taken
though it pains me to be closer to a place
That of which I will never call home.
Home.
An overrated idea for where is home
If not where the heart is
Yet my heart doth lie in a world
Unknown to here.
A step into view, the wind receding
modestly as it fails
To frighten away a monster
too strong to handle such petty
Adversity.
But t'was thunder that cried for failure
To purge the enemy
that for so long lay dormant within
His lady's heart.
And suddenly the rain drops did lessen
for that the thunder boomed reproachfully
His attempts all for naught.
The American Made car in sight
Chipped and black, cheap and
more hindrance than help.
By now, only drizzle could be sent from above
Tired from the expense of energy
they spent all for naught.
The wind cried out angrily
but more in shame to admit that
Yes, it was all for naught.
The sun's muffled screams went unheard
But a final look revealed
a bleeding sky spreading to engulf the clouds
That did cause his torture.
One final look at the beauty of such pain
was cause enough to come in from the rain
For pain should not feel as such
and not encourage it more.
The thunder was stubborn and would not accept
Defeat.
he did cherish his mistress so that in one last futile attempt
to shake the heavens and do me justice
He roared with such power it shook my resistance
Still it was dull and only a sound
But remember always would I
That the thunder, he did cry.
© 2005 Althea de Guzman |
|
|
| TEAM WORK! |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|12:02 am] |
Well, homies. I had a WONDERFUL weekend spent with my dah'ling sunshine. He, of course, took away all the misery and pain of the past week in school. I'm just NOT adjusting.
Maybe that's because I don't want to... But! On to happier matters! Brian and I made our first dinner together! -=] We made Fetuccini Alfredo with bits of Chicken. I must say that it tasted rather lovely. -=] WHO KNEW WE HAD THAT KIND OF POTENTIAL? Hehe. We'll be cooking together more often from now on.
Well, this is the final product! It may not look like it's ALL THAT, but it is!
You can see the green and white fetuccini strips and then that's the fried chicken (that I fried!) mixed in there. Mmm, and Brian heated up some ready made sauce..and this perfection resulted.
There's my baby! He can hardly wait to eat it. We set the mood a little since it was still some day light out. We closed the blinds and turned on some romanticly shaded lamps! But, we also needed to SEE what we were eating, so we settled by opening one set of blinds. Hehe.
Well, the food was getting a little cold and Brian wanted to dig in, but I insisted on a kiss for the appetizer before we started the main course!
Well, you know me..and I insisted on just one more perfect picture! Haha. I was so proud of my baby for being so patient and cooking with me. We were a team! ..We ARE a team.
YUM YUM Finally! He indulged himself and was completely satisfied! Haha. Well, maybe he wanted a little more..but we decided to save some for whoever DARED to eat our creation! Lol.
Ahh, and here we are together! Proudly bearing our delicious creation! That night definitely inspired us..and we LIVE for the sweet moments like this. I love him so much..
THAT was a monumental dinner celebration! Hehe. We worked as a team and we supported each other the whole way through. That, my friends, is love. -=]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
That night definitely took the yuckieness of my week which stamped the REALITY of my move.... |
|
|
| No, no..no! |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|12:08 am] |
|
What have I done? |
|
|
| Jack and the Beanstalk strikes a pose! |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Jack makes me smile! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | N.E.R.D - Rock Star | ] |
All right, for all of you who know me, you should also know that I love and absolutely treasure my Jackoby-Bear. He was given to me by my lovely dah'ling sunshine, and the both of us have come to care for him as our own (which he is). One of our favorite activities together is dressing up Jackoby. Well, actually it was my mother dearest who started it all. So, I've decided to post up some pictures since I made Jack a new RICE hat. Yes, that's right. He's part Asian! Haha. ENJOY!
This is just a full front look at Jack. As you can see! He needs to lose some weight. Haha. Those overalls are a bit too tight on him.
He's reading a book! Like mother like son? Well, hmm..sometimes he's a girl. Haha. Oh, and yes! That is a dictionary!
Well, because of me he is part ASIAN. He's reppin' the Phils, for real!
Ooh, dang! Haha. That's the rice hat I made him this morning. Creative, yes? Lol. Just an overhead view.
That's my looovely mother and her dah'ling Jack.
Ooh, oh! He's strikin' a pose. Yeahhuh, you know that's hot. GOT RICE?
Mmm, and he's just so HAWT that he can't stop looking in the mirror. Soo eRAWtic!
Hope you all enjoyed! |
|
|
| End of the first week of school at GCHS. |
[Aug. 27th, 2005|05:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  For the love of my life. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Damien Rice - Cannonball | ] |
CLASSES1 Honors Economics - The students in that class are the ones that try to weasel their way out of AP Euro; which is what they take sophomore year instead of AP Psych or Econ. It's required to have a lunch period, so I couldn't fit that class in. Since Econ is 1 semester, I can take Driver's Ed as well... Well, the people there are practically the same people I have in my other classes. And not only the same people, but the same kind of people. They're mostly preps in my class and the occassional punk rocker. Oh, and to my surprise only a few NERDY looking people. Wait a minute, the nerds in this place must be so smart that they all skippped a grade. I'm telling you it's like (for you who know who he is in NW) Jon Paul .
It's as if they ALL have curly hair, odd glasses, braces, and a not so pretty complexion. Not that I mind that...I just can't find them! I want to befriend them, dang it! The teacher is lame and quick to pick favorites. I'm not entirely certain yet, but the impression she gives me makes me uneasy about whether or not she knows how to teach her class..... Well, all in all the class is a miserable start of an even more dreadful day.
2 Honors Spanish III - The students in that class seem to have followed me from honors Econ, but this time their "intelligence level" is out in the open. It's par to those who were in my regular Spanish class before I moved up to honors. We're going at a snail's pace even after taking into account the fact that we're still "reviewing". I suppose it's all the teacher to blame. Let me demonstrate the level of difficulty in this class.
Example:
Teacher: "Creo que las estudiantes que vienen aqui son muy inteligentes!" Then she blushed and exclaimed, "Ay! Oops. I don't think you guys have learned VENIR, have you?" They shook their head in response. Honestly, we're in the 3rd year of honors Spanish and they haven't learned VENIR? Excuse my French when I say that this is quite pathétique. So, of course I approached my teacher about this and she told me that I should just wait another week to see how I feel about the course while she consulted her supervisor. Languages are an enormous part of my life, and it is so disappointing to be in this situation. 3 Individual Sports - This is one pick of, I think, 3 gym classes. The counselor said, "This is for the people who don't like sports. Well, now that sounded like a dream come true. But 'lo and behold there is a catch.
HEALTH CLUB
What in all of heck is health club? They've explained it a few times now, but my mind still cannot grasp the concept. It's like a "requirement" gym class that you have to take 3 times a week. I'll probably pick aerobics. I need to sweat... Oh, and there is only one other sophomore (that I know of). Surprise, surprise. They're all in health class, and in this school, if you have health, then you only need to take gym for one semester. Well, that suits me just fine. I'm in a class full of seniors and juniors. What difference could it possibly make? At least we get to play golf at one point. Oh, and my gym teacher just came from Niles North, so it's like we both transferred. 4 Adv. Alg/Trig [Honors] - Well, first of all AAT (the lower honors-cred class in NW) is the highest honors-cred class here for soph year. That just tells you how much more idiotic my school is...:sighs: We're in groups for the semester, and I'm stuck with a punk/rocker and a freshman. I don't mind too much. They're decent folk. I hold no grudge. The teacher is pretty cool. He's a young'n at 24. Lol. He's a good looking teacher. Haha. The only one that I've ever had that wasn't entirely well disfigured. Well, he's easy and all, so that should help with the fact that I don't have much skill when it comes to math. 5 Lunch - Luckily, I've found three very amiable seniors to share a lunch table with. They seem to be the "in between" of this school, so I can only hope to find more people like them! Well, one is brown, one is white, and one is black. They've given me tips and even helped me out with essays. I'm glad that they asked to sit with me on the first day (since there were no other tables) because I would have been quite lonely otherwise... 6 Honors English - My teacher is crazy! The worst part is probably the fact that she's exactly like Mrs. Rapp, my teacher for freshman year. That means one thing: Effort is key to success. I hate to admit that surprisingly the students in that class don't have half-baked answers..most of the time. But it's loathe for me to say that I've judged a book by its cover more than thrice times in this school... I'm also in despair because of the fact that ANDREW is in my class. Yes, ANDREW! When he first stepped into the class room on that first day, my mind screamed, "ANDREW." Now in my return to reality, I gathered his name to be Sean, but the way he looks, talks, and even acts reminds me of Andrew. Great, just when I thought I left the guy behind, he's still here!
The worst part must be that I ogle at this new boy so rudely...(at lunch too since he sits in the table next to mine)O.O Well, the class is harder than making friends. 7 Honors Chemistry - At this point my mind would have been aching for release, but the teacher is so BUBBLY that I can't help but feel the same way. There'll never a dull moment as long as that droll expression is plastered on his face. I suspect that the class will be difficult, but I can conquer anything with pure effort. Ahhh, that's hard. Haha. We've already had 2 common sense quizzes and I got a couple things wrong on each. Oops! I've made friends! Well, this one boy approached me and he's a junior. He said, "Hey, you're Al..fia, right?" I nodded. He continued, "I'm John! I'm trying to meet all the sophomores." And that was that. Since he's in my French class next period we talk on the way. He even said that he'd introduce me to all the people he knew!
How very generous of him! 8 Honors French II - This class is very easy for me, but nothing compared to the absurdity level of my Spanish class. John sits in front of me, so I'm very comfortable in that class. I'm glad that the teacher likes me already. I think the real reason I enjoy the class so much is that it is the last period of the day! Lovely, lovely. THE DAY IS FINALLY OVER
I would go straight to my bus, but since my locker is ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE (LITERALLY) of the school, I am usually late getting to the school bus. And this is BAD because we have 78 people in a bus that should only hold 71 before it becomes a safety hazard. So, I have to sit in the aisles most of the time, and the body odor is so overwhelming. Sometimes, I want to puke..:shakes head:PEOPLE Like I said before, there are basically 4 clique groups.
Preps - Make up majority
GHETTO folk - Come as 1st runner up in this school..
Punk/Rockers - The ones who need to be noticed?
NERDS - Oh, I wish I could befriend a few! They're lovely. Heh heh. EXTRA CURRICULARS Nothing's really started yet, but my new friend Ruby and I are going to do this "car wash" thing. Ruby is a transfer student too, so we find solace in each other's...misery? I have to try out for Academic Team in September, but it's just over a general knowledge of things.
Oh, and then there's Science Olympiad, Model UN, Congressional debate, and POWDER PUFF football! Yess. That's something to look forward too, I hope. Otherwise, that's all there is to note.. Well, all in all my first week at this new school pretty much made me cry out in despair, but! never fear..for I shall conquer this. Well, wish me luck, guys. It's a new adventure I must embark on, but this time..I shall have to do it alone.
I'm so glad it's the weekend. Brian melted all of my troubles away. If there's one thing I regret the most about this whole issue of moving..is leaving behind the two people I love the most! Sunshine & Green Goldfish...
-----------------------------------------------------Jackoby-Bear has something he has to say! O.O Uhh oh. 
|
|
|
| GCHS Orientation |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|12:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On | ] |
Well, just came home from orientation at my new school. Hmmm.
- 8AM - Ring, ring. Stupid alarm clock. I should just throw it out the window!
- 8:37AM - Done showering like a MOFO. :sighs: Crazy hair products..for $20. [O.O]
- 8:59AM - Darn it. I'm not wearing a dress. Why the heck would I wear a dress??
- 9:15AM - Ah, two people at my bus stop and not very friendly either. One is GHETTO FABulous, if you catch my drift.
- 9:50AM - Finally, we're at school. It takes so long riding in the school bus.
- 9:53AM - "Uh, do you know where we should go?" Met a new friend! She's also a transfer student. Her name's Rumi.
- 10AM - "Excuse me, girls? Do you know where to go?" Clueless stare. O.O
- 10:05AM - ..."Yeah, so it's common sense not to wear shirts that make you look like sluts." Hmm, that about sums that part up.
- 10:30AM - Tour, tour, tour around the school. Yeah, still don't know where the heck I am.
- 10:45AM - HOLY CRAP, I saw like 3 Asian. Only 3??? Oooh, the humanity! No black people either. Stupid white people...O.O Just kidding, I love them whites. Haha.
- 10:50AM - [Preppy][Punk[Ghetto Fab][NERDS] No in between!? How am I supposed to live??
- 11AM - Go ahead and wander...
- 11:15AM - At bookstore, ugh..I don't know how to write out checks; especially a blank one!! O.O
- 11:30AM - Stupid locker! If you don't open, I'm going to miss the bus! Hey, where is the bus anyway?
- 12PM - Back home. And eating lunch. :sighs:
 Time to sleep, hmm? Well, I hope all's well that ends well, you know? Maybe this new experience will teach me a little bit more about life. :sighs:
|
|
|
| I'm holding on by letting go of you... |
[Aug. 4th, 2005|06:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Straightjacket Feeling - AAR | ] |
THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS LYRICS
"Straightjacket Feeling"
Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again
Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again,
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you
And when the memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away
Yesterday was over
Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you'd be
That face is staring holes in me again,
but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you |
|
|
| Death |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|02:14 pm] |
Story Of The Year - Anthem Of Our Dying Day
The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying...
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
Our dying day
Of our dying..
---------------------------
RIP |
|
|
| Ah, whoo? |
[Jul. 2nd, 2005|11:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril Lavigne | ] |
Okay, April!! I have made a live journal. Ahh, now I must go buy milk.
And CHEESE! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
altdeg1's journal
morose